Win-Win!

Okay, so three people committed suicide at Gitmo. Okay, they shouldn't be there. You can check my opinions on this topic with a dart. That should be a google tool. Sort of like a random link on a site. If such a tool existed, you'd stumble onto a previous post about how W and Co. are pissing all over me to distract me while they shred the Constitution. Well now three people killed themselves. Were they bad people? Who knows. All I can do is opt to trust or not trust our government. Well they're not doing so well so far. Actually, either they are morons or liars or a wicked melange (excellent band name...I'm thinking zydeco) of the two. Oh, and a bunch of people that just don't care, or worse, care about the wrong stuff, are mixed in too.

Well the Admiral that's running Gitmo, or at least the prison camp, Rear Admiral Harris is a genius. This is no neo-com dipshit. He's the next Cheney. The next Rummy. He said that it was a PR stunt. Okay, fair but sort of heavyhanded. Comparing people illegally detained, even if you are just following orders, to David Blaine, is probably sort of wrong. But honestly, at least in the greater scheme, terrorism is all PR. I accept all that. And hell, maybe being a little crude at the wrong time, well it takes some steam away from Joe Suicide Bomber. Doubtful, but possible.

Then, as Joe Suicide Bomber kicks the ground dejectedly, you go and build him up, Harris! "I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of assymetrical warfare waged against us." Wow, that's some spin. Other nightowls might have noticed Full Metal Jacket is on HBO, seemingly right when I should go to sleep. Hell, last time it was on, Carlito's Way was on HBO2! I could flip back and forth between cool. It was unavoidable. But right now I can't help but think about the scene where they say that "search and destroy" has been replaced with "sweep and clear." EXCEPT TIMES 10!

Here's a math lesson. Or a logic lesson. As the MythBusters say, "Warning! Science Content!" Things have to be the same on both sides. Here is the symetry of war. They kill our people, we kill their people. If they are fighting an assymetrical war, then we are killing their people AND they are killing themselves. Wow. Now honestly, if these were badguys and they were killing themselves anywhere but our illegal prison, hell, I'm all for this assymetrical warfare. Like if suicide bombers would just run away from police stations and bus stops to abandoned parking garages and blew themselves up. Cool. But being on our soil, they get a pass. And in getting a pass, we still look like shit.

But man, how about that for spin. That's some Globetrotter spin there. Assymetrical warfare? Man, did he think of that? Has he been waiting for this interview? It's like the 'Jerk Store' episode of Seinfeld. They were probably leaving belts lying around, hoping there would be a hanging or two. Then when there was, the question gets asked. General George Costanza pipes up, "Oh yeah, well the assymetrical warfare store called and they're ALL OUT OF YOU!... Because you killed yourselves." The thing is, apparently assymetrical warfare inspires symetrical warfare.

That's not working for us either. And one last thing... We've got enough bad PR. There would be no trade deficit if bad PR counted.