Einstein... Hack.

So last week, NASA came up with a computer model to simulate two black holes crashing into each other. Well first of all, that's not Photoshop. That's some computing. Second of all, according to their model, there would be shockwaves of gravity that would radiate out from the collision at the speed of light. Apparently this was Einstein's thing. Well, looking back, I think we need to do an audit on old Alberto. At least on two of his biggies now, at least to us, the layperson, he found a way to wedge the speed of light into the equation (literally and figuratively). I'm starting to think that the speed of light was the bullet time of theoretical physics for a while there.

Also, I just, while I have the attention of our theoretical physicists, want to point something out. Now the current theory is that you wouldn't be able to alter the future if you travelled back in time. This has bugged me for a while. Now, apparently there is theoretically empirical evidence that time has inertia, so like every stoner ever has pointed out, after they were done saying Animal House stole their theory on planetary motion vs. atomic structure, if you stopped John Wilkes Booth from shooting Lincoln, he would get run over by a carriage outside, or something. But he'd still die.

Okay. But wouldn't the universe make for the shortest path to preventing history from changing? How about that the fact that time has inertia means that time travel is impossible. The easiest way to prevent somebody from changing the future by changing the past is to prevent them from going back in time in the first place. And even better, all the hip theoretical physicists who read my stuff can laugh when their friend's time machine is on the blink, because I bet, universe, incorruptible cockass that it is, wouldn't make it seem impossible at all. It would make it seem sort of possible, then they'd kick a plug out or some shit. As they got closer, the fuckups would become increasingly funny to other nerds.

Soon Sandia is going to look like an episode of I Love Lucy. Hell, it makes me want to go back to school. I bet the speed of light is the same way. Imagine Chuck Yeager 3000 approaching the speed of light, and something little breaks or something. Man, I wish I could be around for that. It's going to be hilarious, because you know they're going to try over and over. It's going to be like Tin Cup.