Page Numbers? We Don't Need No Stinking Cliche...Ooops.

Dear Paul,

I just got your book from Lulu.com, and man, I was really impressed by the quality. It's like a real book. But they left the page numbers off. I know you are very strict about your Ask Paul page, and I guess this isn't really a question, so I'm just going to ask you, what's the deal?

"Chad"
Topeka, KS


Dear Chad,

I hope you are enjoying the book. When somebody tells me they got the book, I usually like to ask what part they are reading. I love talking about my book. Of course, this isn't Ask Chad, so I'll save the questions. I just want to point a couple things out, as far as page numbers.

In the history of writing stuff down, page numbers have been pretty important. In the Bible, it is pretty important (apparently) to be able to be able to be a complete cock and reference any sentence and point out my transgressions, or inspire me, or whatever. The Bible took it much farther than page numbers. When my favorite biblical scholar, Jules Winfield quotes from the Bible, he is very specific. "Ezekial 25:17..."

Jesus, Chad. It's a Pulp Fiction reference.

Somewhere along the way, monks probably, decided we could rely on common sense and find stuff on a page. The Bible is all about being very specific, and like most other aspects of religion, it supposes that humans like you and me, Chad, can't be trusted. Eventually, with just page numbers and reasonably good writing, the idea of the book, coupled with a reasonably competent reader, well it became the perfect way to move information between people. A person writes a book, and another person reads a book. That person tells his friend, who hasn't read the book, about what he read, and his friend calls bullshit, and voila, it's on page 312, monkeyboy.

But here's the thing. People even used to write serious scientific essays in verse form. Then they decided they could write about flowers and the sun rising, and death and stuff, and poetry was good for that too. Oh, and girls. And then they decided that they didn't even need to write in verse. Yeah, you could talk about a girl dying as the sun rose, and you didn't have to write in iambic pentameter, rhymed or not. The story was reborn.

Not all novels or stories are serious. Everybody likes to think they are, but they aren't. Hell, even pseudo-informative novels like The Hunt for Red October, or The DaVinci Code, aren't really that important. The first few, I'll admit that those books, they needed page numbers to ease us through the transition. But even the Book Club people have to admit that if they read patiently enough, they shouldn't need to reference a work of popular fiction by page number.

Even moreso, I contend that not having page numbers increases discussion, because referring in a fuzzy way brings more into the conversation. There are much better chances that a discussion will branch off, whereas the finality of "It's right there on page 53, Dan Brown says Jesus was double jointed" just ends it. It's like debating with an accountant.

Another thing that bugs me about page numbers is that people immediately look to see how long a book is. Why? I do it too. I'm not judging. I just want to know why. And once you know how many pages, well every turn, or at least everytime you stop for a while, you look down at that page number. Mmmmmmm... 134 pages to go. 133....132...131.

One of the best things about The X Files, was that there were plenty of episodes that messed with the traditional concept of time in television. People used to say Chris Carter made most episodes seem more like movies. That's something to love.

They can call them scenes or parts, but the commercials really just divide the shows into those whatevers. But the fact that somehow Carter and his team worked with those, and the eventual end every night is a wonder of pacing. The X Files often felt like a movie for one huge reason. The clock rolling from 9:00PM to 10:00PM wasn't part of the drama. I was always impressed that that wasn't part of the drama. That you never sat there and asked yourself how the hell they were going to tie this up in the last segment.

But a clock counting down on Mulder and Scully would totally ruin it. Same for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And BtVS is much more traditional in structure. Joss and his gang never played with time. They did everything inside the classic Barnaby Jones/Perry Mason/Quincy format, and the only clock is the commercials. Ask me and I will tell you, and you can ask my friends to verify this, the second season of Buffy is Shakespeare on steroids. But every episode was too. You almost expect a rhymed couplet before each commercial break.

To me the only real problem with Entourage, is exactly the opposite. You know it's short. You know nothing's going to be resolved. Part of the drama is waiting for the end. It's a great show, but that is such an artificial thing. It shouldn't always feel like the Daytona 500. Oh no, there's just ten laps to go.

And that's where we are as far as "art." The page number, even the passing of time has become a literary device. And yeah, especially to me, it's getting pretty blurry as far as reading and watching. Reading just takes longer. So I have no page umbers in Focus vs. Vespa. It's in journal format with dated entries, so time passes. But why let the format dictate how progress is made. Some days are three pages, some are four. I didn't let a format dictate how it was written. I never said to myself, I have to write 4 pages a day. I'm just trying to let the reader, like you Chad, in on the immersion.

And I couldn't get Open Office to not number blank pages and it looked bad, so I opted against them in general. It's supposed to be fun, Chad. Fun to write, fun to read. You're not in a race. Not to finish my book. So relax and enjoy. I did.